His Dogness

For school, Sparkle Girl had to write and illustrate a story with a parent to be read at Barnes & Noble. I helped with the story but I would have been no help in the illustrations. Those are hers.

THE DRABISH THRONE ROOM

It’s a little known fact that King Arthur had a third cousin twice removed who was also a king — King Muchafrech of Ish.

Unfortunately, Ish was too small to have many of the swell things that his third cousin twice removed had.

King Muchafrech had no armies. He had no round table — just a plain rectangular one that seated 12. Even that was more than he needed because he had only one knight.

So he had little to do but sit around his throne room all day.
One day, as he sat staring at the gray stone walls, he said, “My throne room is certainly drabish.”

His Jester, whose name was Chester, couldn’t have agreed more because, in between jokes and cartwheels, he, too, spent much of his time staring at the gray stone walls.

“Sire, if you will permit me,” said Chester the Jester, I will undrabish it.”
Boy, did he ever.

When he was done, each wall was covered with stripes and swirls and diamonds in at least two clashing colors.

“Oh, my,” said the king. “It is most certainly no longer drabish but I fear that now it is obnoxiousish.”

The king put a hand over his eyes and said, “Next!”

In came his gardener, whose name was Tiller McGee.

“Oh, sire,” said Tiller, “I have long longed to add my artistic touches to the throne room.”

When he was done, the walls were covered in vines. The rectangular table was covered with rose bushes, and the seat of the throne was covered with petunias.

“There is nowhere for me to sit and nowhere for me to each lunch,” said King Ish. “This is far too lushish! Next!”

In came his only knight, Sir Lunchalot. He used to have two knights but the other one became so tired of the drabishness that he ran away. You may have heard of him. His name was Lancelot.

Sir Lunchalot was a big believer in a hearty meal served piping hot, and it bothered him how long it took the food to be brought from the kitchen. At best, it was lukewarm and sometimes it was lukecool.

So he turned the throne room into a kitchen with a grill set up right next to the table.

“I like a hot meal as much as you do,” said King Muchafrech. “But this is far too kitchenish for a throne room. Next!”

In came Princess Eleanor. She painted all the walls pink, hung a pink disco ball from the ceiling and lined the walls with shelves of dolls. “I love you more than anything Princess Eleanor,” the king said, “but this is far too girl pinkish for a throne room. Next!”

“Oh, daddy,” she said, “I forgive you.”

The Wizard Zap came in and said, “Sire, the problem is not that the room is too drabish, obnoxiousish, lushish, kitchenish or girl pinkish, it’s that the royal rump is too uncomfortable on the typicalish throne.

“What you need is a fully reclining, back-massaging, heated throne.”
With a swirl of his wand and a loud zap, just such a throne appeared.
King Muchafrech stretched out in the chair sighed, and said, “I believe you’re onto something. This is awesomish.”

In his relaxed state, he thought of the perfect solution for the walls — tapestries.