Archive for September, 2007

These Boots Were Made for Talking


Garnet notes, rightly, that I have a hard time throwing away things. When the hole in the heel of a sock grows so big that it no longer functions as a sock, I don’t throw it into the trash. I put it into the rag bag.

Not that I need any more rags. I already have enough rags to see me through any eventuality well into the year 2027.

Recently, my mother decided to stop driving. A couple of years back, someone whanged into the side of my car, and the insurance people declared it a total loss because it would cost more to fix it than it was worth.

I still drive it but have had to make a few adjustments. With the frame bent, the front door on the passenger side no longer closes flush. So, to keep water from coming in when it rains, I have to tape a strip of duct tape across the top of the door. Whenever anyone gets in on that side, I have to pull off the tape and replace it later.

And, at times, the bent quarter panel vibrates so loudly that it impairs conversation.

With all that in mind, my mother generously offered me her car.

You’re not going to get rid of your car when you get your mother’s car, are you? Garnet asked right off.

Of course not. I love that car. I figure my old car can be the one that His Dogness and I use, and the new one can be the one I use when I have Garnet and the kids and don’t want to mess with duct tape and with people asking each other to repeat what they just said.

Enter Garnet’s new boots.

Ever since I have known Garnet, her favorite boots have been seriously worn. The leather on the toes was so thin that she feared that a toe would poke through one day. To keep that from happening, we had the man at the shoe repair shop in Madison add leather strips to the inside of the boots.

Even so, we have been on the lookout for satisfactory new boots. Recently, we found them. For the first few hours, Garnet thought only about how excited she was to wear her new boots.

And, then she said, what am I going to tell my old boots?

My car came immediately to mind but I didn’t say anything.

It’s kind of like you and your car, isn’t it? Garnet said.

Don’t you love it you can award yourself points for keeping your mouth shut and the other person brings up whatever it is that you’re keeping your mouth shut about?

The parallels between the two did come to mind, I said.

Well, I’m just going to have to introduce the boots to each other and wear both of them, she said.

I think they’re all going out to coffee together later today.