His Dogness

Let me just come out and say it, “I am a 54-year-old man who likes to spend time on the Webkinz Web site.”

For those of unfamiliar with Webkinz, let me provide a bit of background. You go into your authorized Webkinz dealer and pick out a stuffed animal – beagle, tiger, monkey, gorilla, panda, polar bear – that looks as if it should cost no more than 6 bucks but that costs $12.99.

You take it to the counter, hand your check card to the clerk, take your new “pet” home, go to your computer and type in the secret code that comes with it. This enables you and your new pet to become part of the Webkinz world for a year.

Your pet comes with the basics, a modest home and decent health. After that, you have to earn money to buy food to keep your pet well-fed and to add such extras as art to the walls of the home and a garden to go out and play in.

You can earn the money a variety of ways, one of which is to play games.

Standing on the outside, I thought that Webkinz was yet another racket.

I have since seen the light.

A year ago, Sparkle Girl’s friend, Sue R., gave her a Webkinz dog. For weeks after Garnet helped Sparkle Girl set up her dog’s new home, I ignored the whole thing. Then, one day, while I was washing dishes and Garnet was presumably doing other useful things, I took a break to check in.

And what did I find?

I found Garnet at the computer playing a Webkinz game called Cash Cow 2 in which you match colored dots and zap them in hopes of earning enough milk to make it to the next level.

Before long, I, too, was playing Cash Cow 2 and its equally engaging predecessor Cash Cow.

Some of the more sophisticated games that I have been exposed to in my admittedly limited video-game experience just made me anxious, either because they were too complicated to easily get comfortable with or because of the content.

With the Webkinz games, it’s easy to master the basics and the content is gentle. Well, for the most part. It is true that, in one a game, one character tries to whack another as far as he can with a club. But the whackee seems to enjoy his flight and makes a funny sound when he lands.

Anway, when it came to the video-game universe, I had found the place where I was supposed to be – a Web site designed for 5-year-olds.

In the past few months, Doobins, who turned 5 in October, has learned a great deal about how computers and Web sites work just by having fun on the site.

So, when I saw that our subscription to the site would come to an end if we didn’t take action by buying another Webkinz to extend our access for another year, there was nothing for it but for all of us to climb in the car and head over to the Hallmark store to buy another pet.

When we got there, we found that all of the Webkinz were in a locked display case. One of the clerks asked whether we would like for her to unlock the case and open the doors so that we could get a better look.

Please.

When she showed no sign of leaving, I said that it might take a while for Sparkle Girl and Doobins to make their collective decision.

As long as the case was open, she said, she had to remain with us. I had no idea that Webkinz kidnappings were such a danger.

They picked a Siberian husky, which they named Jack.

A few days later we were back. Now that Doobins is old enough to fully join Sparkle Girl in the Webkinz universe, it became clear that sharing a pet was better in theory than in reality.

The monkey’s name is George.

Doobins has introduced me to a new game in which Dex Dangerous protects his planet by flying his spaceship around and zapping all the planet-eating pigs.

I plan to head out on my next mission with Dex momentarily.

So far I haven’t been able to make it beyong Level 6.

Wish me luck!